PTSD

Sometimes the PTSD episodes are from the abuse....The worst of it though is from the many times that death almost happened in front of me. Sometimes it's something that happens on a tv show, sometimes it's a sound an actor makes when they are "dying". Other times it can come out of nowhere. It's overwhelming when it does. Something I can't erase is the feeling that you can't stop death when it does come. Those nights and those times when the crashes happened were by far worse and more traumatic for me than any words or actions. I fear that those are the traumas that will follow me. I will never understand why I had to endure such hatred to me and to sacred life.