Broken

This is a night where I feel so broken...I wonder if I can ever really be fixed.  I screwed up today for what feels like the zillionth time and I can't seem to make it right.  The pain I'm in is unceasing.  I just want it to stop and the only thing that will take it away is punishing me for what I did.
I hate weeks like these.  I had a mountaintop experience with my spiritual mentor and our group last week and now it feels like nothing has gone right since then.  I want to be under His wing, but it doesn't stop the bad.  He doesn't promise that.  I long for rest...I pray Psalm 91 and read Psalm 139...I want so badly to be able to simply rest under His wing. I sit here and weep for I have no clue how to do this. I read His words over and over...beginning to feel the pull the refuge...